Trying to scroll past my nightmares
I hope this finds you certain of our continued existence on this planet, or, at least with a backup plan that hopefully doesn’t involve shooting a wiener into space.
Here I am at one of my go-to places in my neighborhood, trying to enjoy an iced-coffee way too late in the day for me to get any sleep tonight, out of a plastic cup that promises to be compostable and made from plants, trying to stave off the never-ending feeling that we are living out the final days of earth as we know it and quickly rounding the corner to a new world, one that does not seem to like us very much. And, here is what I am learning about living daily life while a major existential question hangs over you: it is extremely hard to do. It takes a lot of physical strength to just go through the motions of regular life when you are carrying weights that never leave your side. There are the problems we all share, like our collapsing climate, and there are the things we carry alone; the private pains and fears we take to bed with us and wake up next to in the morning and tuck into our pockets while we go about our days. How the hell are we expected to get anything done during times like these?
For a while, the Short Afternoon Walk was a huge help to me. I relied heavily on the ritual of shutting off the computer, putting on “real” clothes and choosing the perfect podcast to accompany me as I covered miles around my city. Depending on the time of day, and area I chose, it was usually just me and the quiet buildings and it was easy to feel like everything was slowing down to match my speed. But, as my use of the past tense clearly indicates, things are beginning to shift. I do still get a lot from this habit and can’t imagine living a life where I do not go for a short walk to “complete the day” (yes, I am that person), but things are different now. There are far more people in the streets and far larger fears in my throat. So, instead of recounting for you a particular walk from the week and what it made me see about our shared experience, here are some things that are helping me right now:
First, an important question: do we really need any more awareness about the climate crisis? No, we do not. In fact, I am sick of every word we are using to describe it. And that is perfectly okay. You can opt out of the “duty of awareness.”
I stumbled upon the All We Can Save Project while doomscrolling last week and it stopped me in my tracks. After reading a few passages, I went to my library and borrowed the book (yes, that is back!). It’s the most soothing content I have found on this topic and, you know what, I don’t know about you but I need soothing right now.
This issue of Heated and this quote:
The ability to participate in activism is a privilege. Many simply do not have the time, money, or emotional bandwidth to take on a global cause. Climate activism also has an unfortunate history of regressive finger-wagging, blaming relatively powerless individuals for not making “better” environmental choices.
The climate activism that is needed today is not that type of activism—especially since, according to the IEA, individual “behavior” changes will only account for around 4 percent of cumulative emissions reductions in the path to net zero. What’s needed today is sustained outrage at the powerful, by those with the time and resources to express it.
Now, if only I could find some books or articles to help me process the persistent heartbreak of watching one of my parents live with a cruel disease that is quickly robbing them of their independence, I’d be good to go for our upcoming apocalypse.